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Keralabrethren.net: Youth Forum: interracial marriages?

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# 00103 :  interracial marriages?
What does everyone think of interracial marriages among believers? I'm not sure if this topic has been explored in the past (so I apologize if this is redundant). Especially in countries like the U.S., this is increasingly becoming a hot topic. In the US (and other similar culturally diverse countries), the trend among immigrants is that usually the 1st and maybe even the 2nd gen. will follow many of the customs/traditions of their ancestors. However, as time passes, future generations assimilate to their surrounding environment and these traditions & customs are somewhat lost.
Post by : jpdobcofjc  View Profile    since : 10 Feb 2006


Reply by : lemuelraj   View Profile   Since : 10 Feb 2006 2:58:32 AM Close
I will give two verses that might serve as starting points for this discussion.

"When the most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of Adam, he SET THE BOUNDS of the people according to the number of the children of Israel." Deut 32:8.

Acts 17:26-27, "And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, AND THE BOUNDS of their habitation; THAT THEY SHOULD SEEK THE LORD, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:"

These are just to set the direction for the discussion, and not answers for the question raised.

Moses LemuelRaj

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Reply by : jpdobcofjc   View Profile   Since : 10 Feb 2006 4:32:05 AM Close
Acts 10:11-15: "He saw heaven opened and something like a large sheet being let down to earth by its four corners. It contained all kinds of four-footed animals, as well as reptiles of the earth and birds of the air. Then a voice told him, "Get up, Peter. Kill and eat." "Surely not, Lord!" Peter replied. "I have never eaten anything impure or unclean." The voice spoke to him a second time, "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean."

I realize that I'm probably taking this out of context, but just to make a point....

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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 10 Feb 2006 8:16:13 AM Close
In these days there are three groups, families, of man. They are: the Jews, the Gentiles, and the Assembly (church) of God. (1 Corinthians 10:32). In the Old Testament times, there were many nations, families.

We are allowed to marry from the family in which we belong.

Shalom malekim!!!

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Reply by : joyboy   View Profile   Since : 13 Feb 2006 9:46:43 AM Close
Moses and Zipporah (spelling?) was an interracial marriage.

Since we don't see it condemned, we can assume it is not wrong. In addition, to use GPK's thoughts above, they were from the same "nation", both believers in the one true Most High God.

I have heard a malayalee try to use the Tower of Babel as a prohibition on Interracial marriage. But this argument falls flat, since if the separation of races was a true concept, there would be no foreign missionaries, no immigration, etc.

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Reply by : etoile   View Profile   Since : 17 Mar 2006 2:29:58 PM Close
i think that the only thing about interracial marriages that could be problematic to the christian life is making sure that the other person is also christian. if you are a christian then you are equal with all the other christians. one verse says "neither man or woman, free or slave, greek or jew" so this implies that in Christ we are all equal.
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Reply by : sincy_varghese   View Profile   Since : 19 Mar 2006 5:12:11 AM Close
I think a believer should be free to marry another believer, so long as God has approved of and blessed the marriage. Other than that there should not be any criteria. There are practical issues which we shoudl take care of like culture, language. So if we take unwise decisiosn saying that "It is God's will", then we may have to suffer the consequences, but if the spouses are mature in their Christian walk then they can tide over these things in the course of time.

But there should always be a parental approval for the marriage. Also we know that since marriage is a coming together of families, we should consider that the families should respect each other in Christian love.

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Reply by : rlaz   View Profile   Since : 27 Sep 2009 3:22:51 AM Close

"When the most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of Adam, he SET THE BOUNDS of the people according to the number of the children of Israel." Deut 32:8.

cant quote verses like this w/o understanding context!!!.............. This was set at that time b/c God didnt want jewish ppl to marry outside culture. The reason being idol/pagan worship. God didnt want that entering into jewish culture.. but if u read the bible// it evetually did.

BIBLE does not say that you cant marry outside your culture.. If you read your bible you know that.

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Reply by : vinubetty2009   View Profile   Since : 28 Sep 2009 8:09:50 PM Close

Why are we complicating the matter? If the two born again and baptized believers - does it matter what race they are from?

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Reply by : jakethomas   View Profile   Since : 6 Dec 2009 9:50:32 PM Close

All men who dwell on the earth are of "one blood" (Acts 17:24) and all humans are the descendents of the first man, Adam (1 Cor. 15:45). This makes it clear that there is only one race biologically. If a white man is looking for an organ transplant, he can get an exact tissue match from a black man and vice versa.  The commandment to the NT believers is that they should not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. (2 Cor 6:14) Therefore a saved person can marry another saved person. However, the differences stem from the culture. Our culture plays a very important role in our day today life. When people from totally different culture marry, their life can bring many struggles to themselves, to their extended families and even to their offsprings. Many unscriptural things are quite acceptable and normal in some cultures even though they are saved and baptized people. There is a church near our place consisting of a number of saved and baptized people and always zealous in preaching the gospel. But, many among them are divorced and maintain a very close intimacy with their future partners in the dating period itself. Alas, It is quite normal and acceptable in their culture!  They don't think that there is anything abnormal in it because it is a part of their culture. Languages, food and practices can vary to a great extent in different cultures. The Asian culture teaches children to call their parents as dad, mom etc. But, in the country I am living today, it is quite acceptable to call the parents and older people with their first name. Therefore, it is good to stick to your own culture to maintain a better understanding between the partners and also to avoid struggle for others and even to your own offsprings. 

Jake Thomas, VA

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Reply by : jmat_86   View Profile   Since : 7 Feb 2011 4:21:26 AM Close

I haven't found any evidence in the Bible which condemns interracial marriages between believers. I don't believe there's anything wrong in it as long as both the parties who are getting married are convinced that they are following God's will for them in their lives.

For a long time, I was curious to why there has been an increase in interracial premarital relationships and marriages among the Indian community. I was particularly shocked to see it happen among malayalee brethren people because I (as well as most of you) was raised in an environment which highly frowned up on such things. I asked couple of my friends in my church regarding their preferences. I remember one sister telling me that she as well as many other malayalee girls find other races attractive, especially whites. She further elaborated on how she believed that white men know how to treat their partner well and make them happy (I don't know if this type of thinking is inferring to that we Indian men are incapable of this). I think some Indian girls see how the traditional Indian husband treats his wife and they compare that without how a guy from another race would treat them. Lol, anyway this is the honest response I got from one person. For a long time it has bothered me because in my own family, my parents have always told me their wishes regarding my marriage and they told me marry a malayalee brethren girl. If the girls within our community are preferring other choices, what are we to do? I can't force them to go against their likings and I'm not allowed to marry from another race either(family and my brethren community would condemn it). I guess its becoming a losing situation for some of us (decent brethren guys) especially in the US. I've heard that some people in Kerala have started to reject proposals from the US because they feel the guy or girl would have already ruined their testimony by engaging in premartial relationships and other forbidden things. I can't deny that many of the youth are straying away in the US by engaging in such activities. But there are some that don't, and they end up getting the shorter end of the stick. It's depressing. I have the desire to get married and have a family too, but this is the world we live in today. I'm beginning to think that it is better to stay a bachelor for the rest of my life and serve the Lord that way.

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Reply by : appachan   View Profile   Since : 8 Feb 2011 1:50:01 PM Close

Dear jmat_86,

i do not buy your arguement at all that you are having trouble finding a brethren malayalee girl, the ratio of brethren malayalee girls are highly skewed in favor of boys,in US and india, there is a huge demand for brethren boys but aren't enough around, on the other hand there are too many girls. if you ask Sisters who are married 25-30 yrs plus, you will get a far different anwser about indian brehtren men than what you are quoting above, bad apples notwithstanding, on the other hand you will rarely find a sister married to a sayap 25-30 yrs, there are wonderful exceptions though, but they are exceptions neverthless.

Be prayerful about the matter and the Lord will lead you to the one he has in mind for you, indian/western/creole... :-)

 

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Reply by : dannyboy_84   View Profile   Since : 8 Feb 2011 2:17:30 PM Close

@ jmat_86- You brought a very interesting point in your post regarding how the mentality of many Indian girls are changing (of course the mentality of indian guys are changing also) in relation to looking for partners outside their own community. I agree with your observations, its the same way I feel about this also. I thought I would share my observations regarding this. So the question for many of us is why are we seeing a increase in the trend of interracial marriages? Please don't misunderstand me and think that I'm making a generalized statement based on what I'm about to say. I'm only trying to say that some or maybe even a lot girls are starting to think like this.  What I'm about to say I say from a male's perspective. I personally think that many of the young Indian girls look at other races for spouses bc of the following factors (single or combination of these factors)-

(1) they may be simply more attracted to them

(2) i think for some it's a thrill for them to rebel against what is accepted in their own community and maybe be able to show off to everyone that they can land someone who is not an Indian (so those type of girls may have a mentality which promotes racial superiority (for example, white is better than Indian based on their own reasons)

(3)  like jmat_86 said in his post, many girls look at their own families and see the relationship between their fathers and mothers. Of course in many of these relationships, it's a traditional type where many times the wife will not have a say in matters and so whatever the husband says goes. So I'm thinking that these girls who have been raised in such an environment are inclined to not wanting that type of suppression in their lives. They'll start comparing what they see with relationships in the West (personally I've observed that in many, not every relationship, most American wives have a lot of independence in their marriage- more than what I think is deemed right in the Bible). Their friends who are in interracial relationships may encourage them to follow their footsteps. At this point, I'd like to say, I haven't seen any evidence in the Bible which condemns interracial marriage among believers. With that point being said, I want to continue with which what I was saying before. I think that since many girls today are afraid of being suppressed and instead want a degree of independence in their relationships, they look into interracial marriages. I'm not sure if they're really understand what the Bible has to say about the relationship between a husband and wife and because of that they're just trying to run away and find an escape route from the truth. If that is the case, then they need to read and understand that it is ordained by God himself for the husband to be the head of the family. That means she must be submissive and obedient to him. I feel there's no exception to this rule, unless of course the wife saw that the husband was doing something clearly against God's Word. So, whoever these girls choose to marry at the end (white, black, asian, latino ), they still need to obey God's Word regarding their lives.

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Reply by : jmat_86   View Profile   Since : 8 Feb 2011 2:32:06 PM Close

Dear Appachen,

If you would like to live in my shoes for some time and and see what some of us are going through, please do so, before trying to negate something which we are going through. I'm prettty sure you can't bring statistics of such a brethren guy:brethren girl ratio. If so please tell me what is  that exact ratio? I know that even the ratio of males:woman in India is 1.064 males/female (as of 2006). Even the national population suggests that there aren't enough women for males. Of course, there's no published census taken which suggests the brethren population demographics (as far as I know). If there is, I'm intrigued to find out.

What is point of me asking married women about their views on this? I can't go and marry them. In my previous post, I'm referring to the new generation of brethren women and the point I'm trying to make is that the ideology/mentality of the new generation is changing. For what possible reasons I think, I mentioned also and I just got a reply from dannyboy_84 who also happens to support my statements and elaborated on it much more.

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Reply by : appachan   View Profile   Since : 8 Feb 2011 3:28:32 PM Close

Dear jmat_86

you are right about india, however ,The ratio for Kerala is 1.058 — 1059 females per 1000 males (wikipedia),however let us not split hairs here.I agree with you that the newer generation , the facebook/youtube/4g/5g/  girls have very different  expectations than girls of my generation had. your dilemma is a very valid one, however it is the sign of our times. I apologize for my miscommunication, i am not requesting you to talk to older sisters:-)   it is/was the job of the older sisters to train/mentor the young girls as per Titus 2:3-5. The dilemma you face is sadly the conequence of our generation putting material/wordly needs before spiritual, our generation is a lot to blame for that, we have paid lip service to spiritual upgringing of our girls/boys and that is why you see this moral decline amongst us.we focused on all the wrong things in life and when they came of marriageable age we asked them to trasform overight into Ruth/Esther etc,pretend to be holy/spiritual ,contrary to proverbs 22:6 , our aim was to make them /nurses/dr's/engineers/finance whizkids etc not humle men and women of God , we expected the sunday school to do wonders,( see, it is all thier fault). the net result is boys/girls who are rebellious to the word of God but are exceptionally good in their professions, The 'american dream' has been achieved but like the rest of america far from God,why do you think we have a divorce epidemic in our midst????

If you think the Lord is leading you to spend the rest of your life as a bachelor, to serve him , that is highly commendable and encouraged by the word of God ,1 Corinthians 7:7-9 , however i stand by my statement in earlier posts , there are gem of young sisters out there too though in the minority, hope the Lord will lead you to the right one.
 

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Reply by : jmat_86   View Profile   Since : 9 Feb 2011 4:00:22 AM Close

Dear Appachen,

No need to apologize, thank you for understanding the frustration of young men like me. I apologize if I sounded rude in anway. Nice point regarding the sex ratio of Kerala. I should've checked into that also which seems interesting why there's a disparity between the national sex ratio and the sex ratio of Kerala. Total opposite of each other :) I believe the main reason behind that, the national sex ratio is more females than males because of the atrocities which happened in many parts of India (esp North India) where couples have killed their female babies over the past couple of decades (because of their preference to have male babies). Anyway, that is another topic which is of not of importance pertaining to the topic in this forum.

I completely agree with the points you made. That is exactly how I feel also regarding the state of the current generation of many brethren believers. Sometimes I think they are just like the Pharisees, claiming to know God's Word, but miserably failing to implement it in their own lives. In other words, they're spirtually blind. I look at my local brethren community and I can see one word which would perfectly describe it- COMPETITION (and not the healthy type). Politics within the church, families competing against each other materialistically (topping each other to see who gets the most amount of mercedes and lexus in their driveways, who gets the bigger mansions, who can send all their kids for engineering or medicine) all for achieving a degree of elation and status among everyone, in the process spiritually gain nothing-zero. While they're doing this, they sacrifice their personal holiness. They make their kids attend every church activity, but them run wild during the rest of the week. Pathetic! Who is to blame? The parents and local assemblies for not mentoring and disciplinging these kids. Local churches concentrate on taking sermons and studies regarding doctrine (I'm not saying doctrine is not important), but they neglect to deal with practical issues the young generation faces today. I believe if you ask many of  them questions regarding simple topics (drugs, alcoholism, premarital relationships/sexual immorality), they would not be able to tell you what the Bible teaches regarding those things. I say this from my own experience. Its high time the brethren community wakes up. It need s a revival. If this doesn't change, if we keep disobeying God, we are inviting His judgement and wratch up on us.

 

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Reply by : jmat_86   View Profile   Since : 9 Feb 2011 4:03:02 AM Close

judgment and wrath*

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Reply by : jmat_86   View Profile   Since : 9 Feb 2011 4:03:41 AM Close

but let them run wild*

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Reply by : ifellinlovewithamalayalee   View Profile   Since : 22 Oct 2011 6:43:58 PM Close

jmat_86 there is truth in your claims.. I committed a grave offense to God together with a brethren from your place. Due to fear of the family, the guy wanted an abortion but I couldn't do it. I know I made a mistake and my testimony / integrity is no longer intact. However, i think it would be greater offense to God to kill the life in me. To make the long story short, I tried to look around to speak to his family thru the church but because this issue is so sensitive, i think his family didn't mind it and didn't mind a grandson outside wedlock. I do not see what's the purpose of being a Christian there in India (sorry for the words). I know the pressures in society in India compred to my country in Southeast asia part but I couldn't believe that his family gave utmost importance to what people has to say rather than what God has to say in order to put things our lives in order. For now, I was abandoned but im thankful that God provides everything I need and bless me more. It just so hurting that a fellow Christian from outside my country would neglect their own flesh and blood because of reputation and shame that their only son had one son outside wedlock and had other several girls at the same time. =(

I know God sees the situation. I find nothing wrong with interracial marriages. Not everyone that are in wedding never did any premarital activities. It wasn't me at all but I was able to sin - but I know Im forgiven by God already. Now, is this what's stopping any Indian guy to marry anyone outside their church and outside their country for fear of society neglect?

appachan, any views too?

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Reply by : joekassant   View Profile   Since : 7 Apr 2013 9:19:20 AM Close

Hi,

I would like to add some of my own experience to your discussion which i believe is relevant. I am Tamil - I am from India and I recently settled in Canada.  I met a girl on shaadi.com  last year who belongs to a bretheren family in the US. I am not much of a church going believer now, but deep down I always believed that someday I will get back to God. My father was a pastor in India and I was brought up in a strict Christian environment and Chruch (another denomination, not Brethren ) living on principles based on the teachings in the Bible.  But things changed quickly - My dad passed away,  my mom got sick and my brother was in school.. I had to work to feed my family.  As I started working and became independant, I moved away from the Church and I was also hurting because I couldn't understand why God took my dad away.  I never went against God but my interest levels dropped a lot and I became more involved in my work.

My work took me to Canada and that is when I met this girl. She was everything that I did not want at that point ( Lol) - She was a hardcore church going believer and her father is an elder is one of the bretheren assemblies, but we struck a chord and we fell for each other.  I got happier and I knew that this woman is going to drag me to Church and I will only love being dragged now because that is what I always wanted to do. I was so happy that God is finally pulling me back to Him through her.

And then tragedy finds me again - Her parents tell her that she cannot marry me as I am not a Malayalee nor got to a  brethren assembly. I tell her I can become a member of the brethren now because I believe in God now whole-heartedly and I would love to convert to a Malayalee if that is the only thing stopping us( what does it take ? Learn Malayalam and a few other things about your culture   - I bet I will try as hard as I can) .  But yeah I got the same reaction that you have for me now.. Lol.

She left as her parents were torturing her day in and day out and she could take it no more ..and it broke me to pieces.. I was so disgusted with the hypocritical nature of her parents as this is AGAINST what the Bible says.. how could you be so racist and discriminate based on things that have no place where God is but still stand up and teach in a church ..and I told her so..which made her angry.. which I understand.

I know for a fact she is going to marry someone else or have married already.. I know I am the loser and yeah I have cancer now..  I begged her for us just to have a conversation and say a proper good bye  but there was no answer.. I was never going to ask her to marry me now.lol I am not that heartless.

These radiations make me weak.. she makes me weak.. I dunno if God is watching .. may be he does and doesnt care..he has better things to do than worry about my heartbreak..lol

Okay.. before you guys chuck me out.. My point is.. May be I am wrong for the most part, but dont you think there is atleast a hint of racism or ungodliness in all this?  I mean this is not even morally correct.. forget about  being Christian. May be young people move out of the traditional brethren assemblies to local churches, because they know in their heart that it is a wrong and a painful thing to do such a thing.. because it would be a far greater sin to break someone's heart and make them stumble in order to keep up with the lil traditions which have no Biblical base.

Duh..I know you guys will parade me out or block or delete my account ..but what have I got to lose? If another new believer  and an outsider finds it a bit easier in the brethren community  because of my blood , that will be my victory.

Till the time I close my eyes on my painful existence, this will be my hope:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

God loves me in a weird way that I dont understand. I love her like I have loved nobody..

Joe..

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Reply by : rtdaniel   View Profile   Since : 10 Apr 2013 11:10:25 AM Close

Dear Youth,

There is a great lot of problems with the Indian American youth when it comes to the marrIage. The most serious one is that they are not able to trust the Lord with their problems and needs. They seek to find the most compatable life partner according to their own wisdom and culture rather than leaving the choice to the most wise who cannot make a mistake. Another reason is that, as one young man told me, they want to run away from their parents and their culture. As some on in this forem mentioned they want to show the whole world that they are different from normal Kerala Brethren and will only be better if they rebal against  what the Kerala Brethren stand for.

Dear youth, leave your conserns to the Lord and ask Him to find the right partner. He can never maka a mistake, but you will.     Let us look at the lessons from the examples given to us:

1.   God understands the need of man and it is God who makes the provision to meet this need. It never fails – we should allow God to bring His choice before us. We are to wait upon Him prayerfully.

2.   The first wife was made out of Adam’s body; they had a common origin, the family of God. Abraham made his servant to swear that he will not take a wife for his son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom he dwelt, but shall go to his country and to his family, and take a wife for Isaac. The principle here is: Both the partners should be from the same family, the family of God-not from the community we live in, nor the culture we are accustomed to, but of the family of God. A child of God should only marry a child of God.

3.   The bride was chosen by God. Neither the bridegroom nor the bride, nor their families had any role in the choice. Eve was presented before Adam and he accepted her without any questions. The Church, the bride of Christ was chosen by God and Christ accepted all that are given to Him.

      It is often heard from many a pulpit that Isaac’s marriage was arranged by Abraham and therefore all marriages must be arranged by parents. It is a distortion of the truth. This idea comes from our culture in which we live and our desire to Christianize it. In fact Abraham had nothing to do in choosing a bride for his son. He depended upon God, (Gen 24:12-20) and trusted Him fully to bring the right choice for his son.

4.   The bride and bridegroom recognized each other as God’s chosen partners and accepted each other. To recognize the leading of God, both the partners should be in fellowship with God and seek His will. In Gen: 24:63 Isaac was in fellowship with God at the time he met Rebecca. Adam was in fellowship with God. Jesus was in constant communion with God the Father. They all accepted God’s choice for them as soon as they met-realizing that they are meeting God’s own choice. There was no consultation with anyone. God will never fail a person who is seeking His will and trusting Him to do His job. God is sovereign. He will never make a mistake. Let us leave to God what He desires to do for us. The root cause of most of today’s marital problems is that the couples have not sought God’s will in their life. Rather they depended on their own or their parents wisdom and discretion in finding a compatible partner.

5.   Abraham took the initiative in seeking a bride for Isaac. It was the desire of the God the father to provide a bride for His Son and He sent His Son to purchase her. All through the Bible wherever marriage is mentioned, we see the same principle repeated. Man takes the initiative in seeking a bride. Whereas in Indian culture we wait for the girl’s party to come to the boy first. It is again a conformation to the heathen culture and not a Biblical model.

6.   The price must be paid to the bride. Abraham sent gold ornaments and dress to adorn his son’s bride. Presents were given to her family members also. Adam had to pay the price for his bride. His side was cut open and a bone was taken out from him, out of which God formed his bride. God made His Son Jesus Christ to pay for His bride. He went all the way to Calvary and shed His blood to purchase her.

Dowry is an evil practice adopted from the heathen culture of our society. Today because of the legal restrictions, we do not overtly use that term very often. However cash and kind are demanded from the bride’s family. These are expected and accepted when given even in cases where they are not demanded. Many expect to lay the foundations of their lives with the wealth they receive from the bride’s family.

Before he gets married, a man ought to be fully responsible to pay the ‘price’ and to do all that is necessary to establish a good married life. The Lord Jesus Christ is building a place for His bride, in order to dwell with her. Isaac had a place for Rebecca when she came, a tent where his mother lived. It was well equipped for a woman to live, as Sara lived there for long time.

7.   A unique lesson is taught in the relationship between Christ and the Church.

The Church today is betrothed to Christ and not married. They are in an engagement period. During this period she is to love Him and get to know Him, and wait for His coming in all fidelity and chastity, to take her home to be with Him, for the consummation of the marriage. Christ will, never take strangers to His wedding feast. Those who are betrothed to Him are washed and sanctified by His precious blood. They are expected to know Him intimately and to be conformed to His likeness while they await His coming. Such are the ones who will accompany Him to the wedding feast.

The idea of an engagement period is often considered unimportant for many reasons. But it is Biblical. A couple has to get to know each other and develop a love-bond between them during this period before they are formally married and begin a family life. Learning to love after marriage is not the Biblical pattern. Dating and courting as it is practiced in the Western society should only be done during this time. Such things are not essentially wrong, after two people have known God’s choice for them and have decided to accept each other. In fact such a period might be necessary to understand each other and develop a strong affection for one another. Dating and courting are not necessary to find out God’s will and are not acceptable before knowing God’s will, before making a firm decision to accept one another. It should be remembered that, it is possible for even a highly spiritual couple to become prey to the desires of flesh. So, utmost care must be taken to avoid any possibility of yielding to temptations. Engagement does not give a license to do all what they want.

The book of Song of Solomon is not only an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the Church. It also portrays the love between a bride and her bridegroom in a romantic setting. That is why such an explicit language is used. A couple is encouraged to develop this kind of love and romance between them during the engagement period just as the church is expected to develop this spiritual intimacy with Christ while she is in the world. Bible never gives any freedom for physical intimacy before marriage. They are to live separately and not to ‘come together’ until they are united in holy matrimony. It is also clear in the writings of the apostles.

In the book of SoSo. the Holy Spirit gives some clear guidelines and steps of restrains a couple should maintain. Ch.2:7 “I charge you… …..” This chorus is repeated in ch.3:5 and in ch.8:4. In the first two places it was before marriage or during their engagement period while they continued to cultivate their love. This expression is clearly is the evidence of her commitment to a chaste life before and during the marriage. She invites accountability to the daughters of Jerusalem. She knows that the intensity of her love to her beloved cannot yet be experienced until the wedding. So she invites the daughters of Jerusalem to keep her accountable regarding her sexual purity. This is a good example to be followed by every couple before marriage. This will help a couple to keep themselves from falling in to lustful temptations and keep themselves pure during courtship.

In ch.8:1 she says if you were my brother I would have kissed you outside without being embarrassed. This indicates that she withdrew herself from publically expressing her love to her husband even after marriage. By this time the marriage already took place(Ch.5). Yet it was not suitable or fitting to the culture to express their love in public. It was acceptable for a sister to express her love to her brother in public. But, not between husband and wife. So she restrained herself and waited until they are in a privet circumstance.

Young couple should take this very seriously. You have three generations of people before you. Before you involve in any act of affection in public you must consider these three generations. While some form of expression is acceptable to your generation will it be acceptable to the older generation and will it be an example to the younger generation, will it offend anyone? Will it create confusion and dishonor to the Lord or bring harmony and honor to the Lord?

Throughout the Bible wherever the topic of marriage is discussed, it speaks of man ‘taking’ a wife for him and the woman ‘given’ in marriage. (Luke 20:34). Christ also speaks about the one that are given to Him by the Father (John 6:39; 10:29). Isaac took Rebecca (Gen 24:67) and she was given (Gen 24:51). This teaching is evident in Paul’s writings also. The man has the right to take a wife for himself, but not without the permission of her parents. She has to be given in marriage. The mystery concerning Christ and the Church is being unraveled progressively through this picture of a man and a woman coming together according to the design of God.

 

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Reply by : godblesskeralaonly   View Profile   Since : 25 Apr 2017 2:15:27 AM Close

Malayalee: similar

Brethren: familiar

Anything else will take work that your love should drive and accept all the looks and judgement of others

 

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