I usually don’t write in this forum, since it is designated as sister’s forum. But I am happy to share few things. I have two sons in law who are local Americans also. I trust that both of you are Christians and share the same faith.
There is a way we can be very comfortable with each other irrespective of color once we see people beyond the color barrier.
Here is a pointer for you. My sons [in-law] are very good with their wives’ family and extended family. The Indian culture usually addresses the extended family [even] showing their respect by addressing each with some special names. They address them just as their wives do, and our daughters do the same to the sons’ family.
Our daughters have unlimited number of uncles and aunties; so do [now] our sons. Also, don’t be overly sensitive to every comment people make. By nature we [people from Kerala] get into everyone’s business. Accept them graciously and move on, without being so overly preoccupied with it. Your husband could be a good guide in helping you to discern this.
Don’t be surprised if you indeed heard some unkind [stupid] remarks from few people. They deserve to be ignored. In every culture you will see few like that and in the Kerala culture we are blessed with more than a fair share.
In case [hope not] you hear some rude and stupid remarks, don’t think such is the norm. Generally, Kerala culture is overly friendly, courteous & loving. If you have never watched the movie ‘My big fat Greek Wedding’, I would recommend you doing it. That would help ease your concerns and it is a true but humorous portrayal of cross cultural relationship.
Again, I trust that you both have true relationship with the Lord and have a place to worship and serve the Lord and grow in your Christian walk. That would be more important than anything else.