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View Topics :: :: Post new topic Youth Forum: How Do i start again?

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# 00267 :  How Do i start again?

I really dont know whther this is the right move, but am gonna try...

Brought up in a brethren background..was born again when i was at 7th grade, baptised when i was in 11th.

I pretty much knew what was right and wrong, but somehow during my teen years. I was more of a depressed child, nobody knew that except my mom because i knew how to socialise well. had a certain suicidal mentality just because i had issues with grades or many other petty issues that would rise up in a normal household. My parents once came to know about this, and took me to a pshychiatrist, what he prescribed was just temporary relief.

Then i entered my college student phase, that's when i am really shameful to admit that my luke warm student believer phase went for a real bad turn, Was just a brethen during those for the sake of society, due to my constant needy character, i made terrible choices based on intimacy, i have failed in many trials and temptations..sometimes i was just lucky in escaping them, trying ma best to not hurt myself physically..but emotionally i was damaged and broken!

I never relied on the Lord through those times, coz i felt i was beyond i dont deserve to ask for help..because of the sick choices i made.

Throught out my college life, what intitiated was that i had to go through a certain sexual abuse, and from then onwards i felt hopeless, felt that i will not a get a good husband and was really troubled to keep this secret and all that frustration bottled up which led to a certain series of events which led me to losing my virginity which is the biggest regret i have right now(to say that i know its a huge understatement).

Right now, there's a part in me that wants to change and go according to the way of the Lord, is it too late???

i request, there's no use replyin to this thread making me realize how wicked and adulterous and carefree i was! I know it..

I am ready to take the right steps, but what are they exactly?

There's a confusion like would everything just be fine if i ask for repentance?I know i will have to experience the consequences of all the actions,,and because of that i have this constant fear that i will not be blessed with a good marriage or be childless..or go blind ..or be inflicted with cancer or any othe incurable disease.

I am going to stop for now and hope that i would get the practical answer to how to start over a life that is pleasing to Him!?


Post by : disturbed  View Profile    since : 18 Jul 2011

Reply by : gmat30   View Profile   Since : 18 Jul 2011 3:47:56 PM Close

Dear Sister,

I think you should go ahead and make your posting in the Sisters forum as that would be appropriate (Webmasters can probably be final authority on this).

With regard to your condition, I am suddenly reminded about John 8:1-11. The Lord will turn your life around if you truly submit it to Him. He still loves us inspite of who we are and and His mercy and compassion faileth not.



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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 19 Jul 2011 7:06:02 PM Close

Dear 'disturbed,'

You are not alone, in your dilemma.  When children are brought-up to be 'Brethren,' and not to be as Christians, the result is failing in the Brethren standard.  Instead, try to be a Christian, because you were saved by the Lord and baptized as a believer to be His follower.  May I ask you to read from the first epistle of John?  Please read the first 21 verses.  You do not worry about the chapters.  Just the first 21 verses.  Could you read them slowly and carefully asking God to help you through the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is still in you.  You have to decrease and He has to increase.  This action should come from you.  He will not take the initiative.  You have to ask for His help.  He is given to you to lead you into all truth.  He is also given to you, so that you will not be an orphan and be alone.  This we learn from John 16.

Coming back to God, is what a child of God has to do, if he/she has wandered away from Him.  Do you remember about the story of the Good shepherd?  You could read that in Luke 15.  The Good Shepherd is searching for you.  All you have to do is to start bleating, praying.  He will come and carry you home and rejoice with others.  He is searching for you.  Do you remember about the story of the Prodigal Son?  He came back to his father.  So you should come back to your Father, the Father who gave His only begotten Son for your salvation.  He did that not to ignore you.  When you go far away from Him, He is waiting for your return.  When you turn to go to Him, He will come to you, and He will be so near to you that you will know that He is upon you and calling to others in His household to rejoice with Him.  You should not wait.  You have to do it today.  Today is not tomorrow or yesterday.  Today is today, and today is the appointed time.

Please read John 14-17 and 1 John 1-2:11.  You should read 1 John 1-2:11 more than once, till it become clear to you by the help of the Holy Spirit.  We are praying for your return.

In Christian love & prayers,

George P. Koshy

Shalom Malekim!!! 

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Reply by : avoid_legalism   View Profile   Since : 22 Jul 2011 5:25:34 PM Close

Br. GPK: Excellent response. In fact, I myself will do what you suggest.  After all, it's never bad to review old truths and old lessons. 

Thank you.


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Reply by : George P. Koshy   View Profile   Since : 25 Jul 2011 4:12:13 PM Close

Dear 'disturbed,'

I hope that you are reading the Scriptures that I mentioned above.  I hope that you will keep on reading them repeatedly, prayerfully.

While you are doing that, I hope in the Lord to start a thread in the General Forum, titled, 'So Great Salvation For A Believed and Committed Christian.'  I may start the thread after a few days, giving you enough time to read the Scriptures from the Gospel of John and the First Epistle of John, more than once.

Shalom Malekim!!! 

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Reply by : ifellinlovewithamalayalee   View Profile   Since : 5 Dec 2011 7:05:30 AM Close

i thank the Lord, i read this advise from George.


Sir, do you have an email address? It's somewhat private.


Would like to seek Godly counsel.




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Reply by : seekinggod   View Profile   Since : 14 Dec 2011 2:03:43 PM Close

 dear child of God. The Almighty God loves you and deep regret you feel in your heart is enough in God's presence. Ask yourself a question, are you seeking to reconcile with God or with the church? If your answer is the former, trust me God's love for you hasn't deteriorated even for a minute. I have personally gone through rough patches in my life where I've felt the unfathomable love of God. None of the so-called elect of God ever stood beside me other than my God. Look to God and you'll find immense peace. People are loving but God is love and there's no limit to that love. If you were to read the responses to your post, I'd seriously recommend that you read this article: I was an born again and active member of the Brethren assemblies and all of them paint of picture of God as if the Almighty has a dual personality - loving yet just. Trust in God's love and you'll wade through any problem. I too was branded as a 'backslider' by the church I was in but God never branded me anything.

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Reply by : jj   View Profile   Since : 31 Aug 2012 7:23:34 AM Close

Hi Distrurbed,

I hope you have started your journey back. Our thoughts & character evolve based on various situations and circumstances. Sexual abuse is one of the worst situations you would want to be in. It destroys your self worth and even makes you feel guilty even though it may not be your fault at all. you mentioned being 'depressed' right from child hood. There is a reason behind this There is a root cause.

A psychiatrist will not be able to help you but the Wonderful Counselor can and will. The One who created you, kept you safe this far, the One who formed you in your mother’s womb and has your name inscribed on the palm of His hand. Who gave up the very best, His Son for YOU, his beloved child. Never forget your actions did not make you His ‘beloved child’ so NEITHER can your actions change that!!!  Will He not want to touch & heal you ? No sin is too great that the blood of Christ cannot wash away…
Romans 8:31 -39
If God be for us, who can be against us? 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifies. 34Who is he that comdemns? It is Christ that died, yes rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
This is the truth which does not change neither do you see any strings attached. As the psalmist says, hide His Word in your heart. Jesus said ‘You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free’. Satan would put lies into you head and would want you to believe that. You mentioned - “  … coz i felt i was beyond i dont deserve to ask for help..because of the sick choices i made.”  Its all a lie Satan wants you to believe. Satan works in a person’s mind by bringing the wrong thoughts to destroy the person and get him / her away from God.
Is it too late ? – NO. Its NEVER too late !!!
How do you go forward? Well start with spending time with the Word and prayer. Tell your heavenly Father your fears your worries like how you would tell your best friend (if you had one). Ask Him to help you… and HE will. For you are His child, the APPLE of his EYE. (Those are not my words but HIS)
Two books I would suggest if you can get a hold of from Operation mobilization / any good Christian bookshop. Victory over Darkness & Bondage Breaker both by Neil T Anderson. It will guide you through the scriptures and practical steps on finding the freedom in Christ but Ultimately your Heavenly Father is the Healer and the Restorer.
God Bless
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